What is the best model for resilience? Sometimes we think of a resilient person as like the preverbal brick wall. Nothing seems to phase them. They just keep going and going. They are always there come rain or shine doing what they do. Being solid and strong. There is obviously a place for this kind of strength and there are times when it can be really valuable in your team. People will often use a similar metaphor – “He/she is my rock – without them I could’t have built . . . . . “
Rock and brick can be great if you want to keep stuff still and supported for a long time; if nothing changes. Today the culture we live in is one of change. For better or for worse the team we have will rub up against each other in different ways over time. In this situation the benefit of a rock or brick is less obvious. That same strength and dependability becomes a rough edge that can leave others raw. With constant weathering the mortar in the wall gets washed away and suddenly it all falls down.
What if we were more rubber band or as we prefer a trampoline. We have a form, we know what it is but we don’t mind flexing and stretching occasionally for the entertainment or practical use of others. Obviously we don’t like to be over stretched. But it is fun to give others energy to bounce. It is satisfying to stretch and then launch a missile across the room or in an emergency hold everything together. A bit of flex can be great. However it is really important if you do flex to know where to come back to. Where is your natural home. Where do you feel relaxed and settled.